What’s In Your Purse?

DISCLAIMER: I live and love the world of reality television. Period.

Now that that’s out of the way, did you see The Braxton Family Values last week? In case you missed or don’t watch it at all, Mrs. Evelyn (aka Mama Braxton) decided to call off her wedding to Doc. She had no better explanation besides the fact that marriage simply wasn’t in her plans at the moment. I understand that.

So Mrs. E went to visit the family therapist to ‘discuss’ her decision since it was weighing heavily on her heart. As I’m watching, I notice the therapist isn’t saying much but rather agreeing with Mrs. E about doing what’s right for her! And Mrs. E said something that sparked this blog. Allow me to paraphrase: “I tell people I got married when I was 2. (laughter) That means I was very young when I committed my life to someone, and since then, I’ve always put other people before me. It’s time for me to put ME first and do what I want to do! To make ME happy.”

Isn’t that a mouthful?! I love Mrs. E because, much like my own Mom, she’s living some dreams now that the kids are grown-up and out of the house. Also, Mrs. E’s words makes me want to ‘slap the piss‘ out of many women my age. She explained that, although Doc made her very happy, she didn’t need him for her happiness. *pause*

Oprah Winfrey talks about finding happiness and love all the time through her website, shows, and magazines. She’s also a prominent figure in the single world. Y’all know she ain’t legally married to Steadman. And I doubt for one second she’s unhappy about the decision not to marry him! That’s because women like Mrs. E and Oprah have lived long enough to fully understand that they don’t need a man to make them happy.

Did you desperate broads hear what I just said? YOU DON’T NEED A MAN TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. I get so frustrated talking with my guy-friends about clingy/needy/jealous/weak/whack women they meet. And the same frustration turns to disgust when my lady-friends ‘wish’ they had a man to make them happy. *banging head against the desk* How stupid does that sound? True happiness is internal. Think about it.

If you can wake up in the morning excited about some fancy shoes or panties you just bought, you’re probably happy. But if you ‘wish’ you had someone to show your shoes/panties to—which would make you happy, you’re probably psycho. And you’re going to be miserable if your search for a mate is speared by your need for someone to give you joy.

It’s time for us as women to be more proactive in our own satisfaction. That way, when you meet someone and it doesn’t work, you don’t feel like you’ve completely missed out when they decide to ditch you! Example: Guy sees girl in line at Starbucks. Girl is obviously overwhelmed with work and life stress as she shuffles through her large work bag to find her wallet. Guy offers to pay her $4.40 coffee tab and slides a $5 bill toward the cashier. Girl thinks she’s found the man of her dreams as she hasn’t been on a date in 4 months. Guy has been waiting 6 minutes for her to decide on a drink and slid the $5 so she could finally get out of the line. Girl flashes several smiles at Guy as he leaves Starbucks without asking for her number.

Okay maybe that example was a bit OverTheTop.com, but you catch my drift! And I’m sure you can personally name at least 2 females like this. Us women are direct displays of how we internally handle life’s stress (we’ll talk about this later). A lot of times, when a great guy sees women like her coming, he turns in the other direction to avoid her tornado of sadness emotions coming at him. And just like that girl at Starbucks, we need to get it together.

Am I saying just because your wallet is buried beneath your laptop and 22 manila folders in your bag that you’re unhappy? No! I’m saying that if you take the time to organize the shit in both your bag AND your life, you might begin to have happier days. And maybe, just maybe, the guy behind you (who has already taken you on 6.5 dates & mentally “hit it” 72 times) might ask for your number.

Now go buy yourself a nice pair at Aldo, hit up Victoria’s Secret, and really enjoy being with YOU. Because if you don’t, no one else will.

*Turns up volume on TLC’s “Silly Ho”*

My 25 At 25

These are things that I, Rhonda, have known to be factual during my first quarter-century of life:

1) You define your own life. Don’t let others write your script. -Oprah

2) People lie.

3) Credit cards are not the devil. But you must learn to use them (and credit) to your advantage.

4) Contraception is not a bad word.

5) State-funded programs are for the needy. Sign up if you’re in need.

6) NEVER argue with anyone over age 65. They know everything and will always win.

7) People grow and grow apart. That’s life.

8) Everyone won’t be your friend. Some are just there to give you good laughs or buy you drinks, and that’s called being nice. You don’t owe them for that.

9) Do some research and learn your car. Don’t take the mechanic’s word as bond (refer to #2).

10) Incoming phone calls after 10pm should go unanswered unless they pertain to your job. 99% of the time, the call is not an emergency and you KNOW this.

11) Try everything once, good or bad, and don’t take anyone’s word for it. That way, you create your own outcome and never have to say, “Well I heard…”

12) Nothing good comes from eating the whole bag of $4 chips or more than 5 Oreos at a time.

13) Wear a scarf at the first sign of cooler weather; something my Granny would call “pneumonia weather.” For some reason, it saves you from catching a cold.

14) People think their religion is the ‘right’ one. Follow what’s in your heart because you won’t discover the truth anyway until you die.

15) Technology will keep changing. Remember how cool you thought Nintendo-64 was? Or playing Snake on your Motorola? Yeah, just wait till next year.

16) Everything costs money (unless you live with parents). Spend it!

17) If you don’t like Ice Cube, Tupac, Dr. Dre, or Snoop, then never turn on the radio in LA. Ever.

18) Hair will grow back. Eventually.

19) There are few things on this earth more beautiful than Usher, Lamman Rucker, Ndamukong Suh, or flowers respectively.

20) Never settle! That one flaw about him/her/that car/that house/that job will make you miserable if you commit to it.

21) No one under age 24 knows what it means to be in love. Studies show that your brain’s frontal lobe (responsible for higher cognitive emotions and problem solving) isn’t fully developed until at least age 21. So there.

22) If it’s on sale, wait a while, and it’ll be on sale again for less. That’s why Macy’s has a “1-day sale of the year” every weekend.

23) Olive oil loses it’s flavor as it is heated.

24) It never hurts to pay it forward. One day, you’ll wish someone paid you something…or anything!

25) Every child deserves to see both parents when they awake and fall asleep. Children are innocent and shouldn’t be subject to their parents’ immature behavior or premature decisions.

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